Teresa

2012-01-28T03:23:00.001+08:00

Nothing to ask anymore.

I've finished asking.

And I had my answer.

CLOSED CHAPTER

2012-01-27T15:45:00.001+08:00

A piece of crumpled paper will never be the same as the original paper.

2012-01-27T14:34:00.002+08:00

LEAVE ME ALONE.

2012-01-27T00:50:00.001+08:00

BOILING TO THE MAX.

GO AWAY WITH THAT ATTITUDE PROBLEM OF YOURS.

_|_

2012-01-26T14:23:00.001+08:00

In between index finger and ring finger.

2012-01-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

My Fat Boy decided to go dating with me last night after eating steamboat for dinner at his place.

I still have a lot more to upload.

A bit lazy.

STAY TUNE HUMANS!

2012-01-25T17:42:00.001+08:00

I'm laughing at the Rooster.

Hahahaha!

2012-01-24T17:55:00.001+08:00

My cousins!

2012-01-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

I'm going home soon!

Packing my stuffs at grandma's place now.

Bye bye!

2012-01-21T22:10:00.001+08:00

I want to go to this place to eat!

='(

2012-01-21T21:52:00.001+08:00

My fat boy cut his hair so short.

Looked shorter than his secondary school days.

LOL.

Short look better than his long ugly hair.

I hate him with long hair, cos it's very ugly.

I want to die editing the 1/4 of my essay.

I think I'll die for OT as well.

Save me please!

2012-01-21T12:19:00.001+08:00

Please tell me my Saturday's going to be great.
Starting to have a flu soon.
How great.
-.-

2012-01-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

Everything is simple.

I don't like and I hate and I don't understand.

Don't need to bother trying to figure out what I post.

Nobody will understand all these expect for myself.

You all just mind your own business.

Thank you very much and go away.

2012-01-19T07:54:00.001+08:00

WHAT A TURN OFF.
TOTALLY.

2012-01-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

I am nothing, nothing special and I am not the one you all need.

I am just a passerby, a nobody in everyone's life.

Everything is none of my business.

Who they are don't mean anything to me, cos it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

Even if I got problems, I won't share to anyone anymore.

Even if I have an accident or no home to stay or no money to eat, I rather die than tell anyone.

I am selfish, immature, insensible, childish and whatever you all think I am.
I do not think what I always do and I do not think with my brain when I need to talk.
I am clearly a stupid human who always make mistakes and never understand, as everyone knows.

I FUCKING DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ALL THINK I AM.

COS IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

I AM SICK OF MY LIFE.

FUCKED UP LIFE.

NOTHING WILL GO WELL AND NOTHING WILL GET ANY BETTER.

Time for me to fuck off..
I know from time to time you're going to give up, this is what I will expect from you.
You said you won't give up, I believe one day you will.
Like you said, all I do is to quarrel, nothing but always find things to quarrel.
I've already starting to sense all the miserable stuffs you're going to tell me.
I know there's going to be another human better than Teresa Lam, definitely some human can replace where I stand in everyone's life.
You like to say I'm a flirt, stand in my shoes if I say this to you.
_|_

Teresa Lam is just a nobody in everyone's life.
Why you people want to waste time with me?
I always make things go wrong, I always everyone angry, and I do is to make people's life difficult.
Everyone should hate me by now.
Hate me to the core!

Being alone will be a better choice for me.
I don't even worth a 1 cent, I worth like a decomposed rubbish.
I WORTH NOTHING, NOT EVEN A PIECE OF SHIT.

EVERYONE IS HAPPY WITHOUT ME IN THEIR LIVES, I'LL BE HAPPY IF EVERYONE CAN FORGET ME RIGHT NOW!

WHO THE HELL IS TERESA LAM ANYWAY?!

2012-01-16T23:00:00.000+08:00

I ABHOR THAT 'LIKE' AT YESTERDAY'S 7:05pm.
GOOD ONE.
I AM NOT BLIND, ANOTHER ONE IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL.
UNLIKE ME, I'M FUCKING UGLY AND WORST THAN ANY OTHER HUMANS.

FUCK YOU BARLEY DRINK, THREW IT AWAY, DAMN SOUR.
_|_
FUCKED UP BITCH.

2012-01-16T20:11:00.001+08:00

Attitude Problem.
I'm like an idiot waiting at home.
Sleeping would be a better choice than keep waiting like shit.

2012-01-15T23:54:00.004+08:00

2012-01-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

I love this Cinnamoroll!

My forever-favourite Sanrio character!

2012-01-15T18:22:00.001+08:00

Leaving home for my manicure and pedicure now!

2012-01-15T13:22:00.002+08:00

No one understand how a dog can be so loyal to its owner.Even when it's so sick and unable to move.All it wants is its owner to be safe and happy.The bond between the dog and owner will always be there.Its love for the owner never dies.It touched my heart so much that I cried for more than 15 mintues...

2012-01-14T21:57:00.003+08:00

I think my research is a bit of messed up now.

Stupid questions that Google Scholar can't really find.

There goes my Chinese New Year with my assignments.

-.-

What a life in university.

2012-01-14T18:01:00.001+08:00

Movie that is worth watching.

2012-01-14T17:39:00.002+08:00

This will be my future puppy.

I DO NOT LIKE OTHER BREEDS.

I ONLY LOVE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS!

Still thinking of a name for my future puppy...

Hmmm...

This puppy is cute but not as cute as Golden Retrievers!

2012-01-14T13:40:00.004+08:00

I haven't been blogging for more than a week.

School's a bitch.

My group has 4 members now become 3, thanks to a guy who came up to my group say want to join us and then today say he got a another group.

This bloody guy is a sucker!!!

Something ugly to make you laugh.

This pug is really ugly to me, so sorry to all pug lovers!

I want to learn to draw eyeliner like theirs!

Mine like so normal.

-.-

2012-01-06T23:19:00.002+08:00

My final last sentence.

I give up.
Nothing went right since last year and this was being pushed to this year.
I'm at the verge of ending my life.
Cos there's nothing left for me to do.
That piece of paper just woke me up from my dreams.
I felt so small and I felt so useless.
Take all my worries and pain away.
And also leave my loved ones in this world to continue living.
I guess I won't have a chance to finish up my degree anymore.
Not to a chance to meet new people in the working society.
Definitely I won't have a chance to have a family on my own.
I give up everything I have now.
I've been driven to this corner where I have no place to go.
I guess relationship wise, it's better for you to find someone better.
Thank you for all these while.
I can't follow up anymore.
There are many fishes out in the sea, someday the suitable one will stay with you forever.
I'm sure someone will treat you better, I know I've never done that before.
There will be someone who can replace all these and make you happier than before.
Sorry...
I guess this is it...

2012-01-06T18:35:00.001+08:00

GOOD JOB AND WELL DONE. _|_

STAGE 6 GOING TO STAGE 7.

2012-01-03T00:59:00.001+08:00

I won't be using my iPhone.
I want to be left alone.
Don't bother come here and read.
Everything is just words and nothing else.
Bye.

2012-01-03T00:24:00.001+08:00

Time to cancel all my New Year Resolutions.
It shouldn't even be in my list at all.
_|_

If saying out my feelings and thoughts will spoil the relationship, I would rather keep my feelings and thoughts with me.

This month I'll stay at home.
Do whatever I want, if I want to go out, I rather go somewhere far away and return home late.

2012-01-01T23:06:00.001+08:00

Cute?

2012-01-01T22:44:00.001+08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION:

1. Good health throughout the year and forever

2. World peace

3. No more natural disaster (Hope Mother Earth will stay healthy)

4. Get good grades (2011 I didn't do well and I felt like dying)

5. Improve my relationship with my Mr. Mak (Cos 5 years of relationship is not easy to come by, plus someone who knows me inside out)

6. Family, friends and everyone in the world to be happy

7. Earn fat money during my holidays (Hoping to get a permanent part time job even when I'm studying)

8. Meet up my secondary school friends more often

9. Save up more money for my future (I've decided that I want to start my own family in my 20s then when I'm in 30s)

10. Lastly, everyone should appreciate the people around you (be it your friends or family members, cos they're here for a reason)

All these should come true in 2012.

2012-01-01T18:24:00.001+08:00

2011-12-31T17:01:00.001+08:00

It's ok not to give me face, thanks for not giving my best friend face.

2011-12-30T20:21:00.001+08:00

_|_
FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR!
FUCK!
_|_POST IT IN FACEBOOK THEN, LET ALL YOUR FRIENDS LIKE THAT POST._|_

2011-12-30T11:13:00.001+08:00

Agree!

I've less than 2 hours to leave this company!
Meet up with my best friend for a while than the rest of my day is dating with Mr. Mak!

2011-12-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

2011-12-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

Something that's so true to me.

2011-12-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

Something interesting.

I think I should blog more happy stuffs to have a kick start of 2012, at the same time get rid of 2011.

Counting down to 2012 in 2 days time!

2011-12-29T19:35:00.004+08:00

My naked face in the office.

I haven't been using make up for quite some time.

Tomorrow is boyfriend day after my work and meeting up with my best friend for a while.

2011-12-28T22:53:00.002+08:00

Waiting impatiently for 2012 to arrive.

DAMN IT!

WHY SO LONG?!

It's not I want to grow older, it's too horrible to stay in 2011.

Plus my work is going to end, and I'm going jobless for a week before school commerce.

-.-

2011-12-27T00:25:00.001+08:00

Don't understand my situation, don't come and say I attitude you.
I've already said I'm having problems.
You don't understand my feeling, don't come and say I attitude you.
_|_
Since I'm being disturbing and irritating to you right?!
FINE!
When I have problems, I'll keep it to myself.
Don't come and tell me 'go emo one corner'.
FUCK YOU! _|_
And you who wants to give me pain and let me enjoy all these miserable shits, fuck you!
You humans clearly do no know what's going on now!
I'm already having high fever and you all just want to make my fever go higher.
THANKS FOR BEING SO NOT CONCERNING AND ADD OIL INTO MY FLAME.
FUCK YOU ALL! _|_

2011-12-26T17:00:00.001+08:00

Why can't you just shut the fuck up?!

I'm having a high fever and can't you let me sleep?!

FUCKER.

Now I've to drag myself out of bed to grandma's place to get my medicine.

FUCK YOU for not letting me sleep the whole day!

_|_

PLEASE GET OUT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!

BLOODY FUCKER.

FUCK OFF LA!

2011-12-25T18:37:00.002+08:00

I can't understand how people can along well with their family and partner.

All these seemed so tough to me.

At times, I do not know what are they thinking.

Neither do they know what's on my mind.

Today's Christmas and I'm not enjoying myself.

I threw away one of my Christmas presents.

The name was clearly written To: Theresa.

Fuck that bitch who doesn't know how to spell my name.

Whoever can't spell my name properly will never be forgiven by me.

I just want to be alone until the end of this year.

I feel happy for those who celebrated their Christmas happily with their family and their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I'm glad I'm sick at this point of time.
That's when I can sleep all I want and wake up to do nothing.
Thanks high fever and flu for visiting me since yesterday until now and never leave me yet.
I can head to bed soon like yesterday.

At the end of this post, I just want to say I am really not happy.

2011-12-24T01:23:00.000+08:00

THANKS FOR SMASHING THOSE GLASSES ON THE FLOOR THAT I HAD TO FUCKING PICK IT UP!

THANKS FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE!

THANKS FOR ALWAYS MAKING 2 OF US SO MISERABLE!

THANKS FOR NEVER CONTRIBUTING IN MY LIFE!

THANKS FOR BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS!

THANKS FOR MAKING MY LEGS GET CUT WHILE PICKING UP THOSE FUCKING GLASSES!

THANKS FOR BEING A FUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT IN MY LIFE!

KINDLY FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE FROM TODAY ONWARDS!

I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!

YOU'VE NEVER MAKE ME HAPPY BEFORE!

IT'S BEST FOR YOU TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

THIS IS WHERE I FIND MY PEACE AND FREEDOM!

I YELLED FUCKING LOUD UNTIL EVERYONE HEARD!

I FUCKING DO NOT CARE WHO IS AROUND ME!

I AM TIRED OF YOU!

YOU BRING NOTHING TO MY LIFE!

JUST FUCKING GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

FUCK OFF!!!

I REALLY HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE!

DON'T COME AND SHOW ME YOUR ATTITUDE BY THROWING YOUR TEMPER AROUND!

DON'T THINK I'M STUPID!

YOU DON'T RESPECT ME, NEITHER WILL I RESPECT YOU!

YOU'RE WORST THAN A SHIT TO ME!

YOU'RE USELESS AND SELFISH!

YOU ONLY KNOW HOW TO GIVE PROBLEMS TO OTHERS!

HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?!

WAKE UP LA!

IF THIS IS GOING TO GO ON FOR YOU, JUST PREPARE TO DIE!

I WON'T HELP ANYMORE!

I THINK I HELPED MORE THAN ANYTHING!

I DON'T FUCKING GET ANYTHING FROM ME!

YOU WASTED MY SAVINGS I SAVED!

IF YOU STEP OUT OF MY LIFE NOW, THAT'S THE BEST THING I CAN EVER HAVE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS.

YOU'RE NEVER UNDERSTANDING, YOU'VE NEVER STAND IN OUR SHOES.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MIND THINKING.

YOU TALK NO SENSE, YOU DON'T THINK BEFORE YOU TALK.

WHATEVER COME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH IS JUST BULLSHITS.

DON'T ASK HELP FROM ME ANYMORE, I WON'T BE THERE TO HELP YOU.

CALL ANYONE ELSE BUT NOT ME.

EVEN IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET INTO TROUBLE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM NOR MY BUSINESS.

THANKS FOR SPOILING MY MOOD EVEN MORE, WHEN I'M ALREADY NOT HAPPY SINCE PAST FEW MONTHS.

THANKS FOR SPOILING MY CHRISTMAS EVE.

FUCK OFF!

2011-12-23T18:10:00.001+08:00

Another fucked up day!
_|_

2011-12-22T14:16:00.000+08:00

_|_
WHY WANT TO REMOVE?!
PUT THERE LA!!!SHOW EVERYONE ONE LA!FACEBOOK IS NOT A PLACE WITH FRIENDS ONLY, IT'S MORE THAN FRIENDS CAN FUCKING SEE ALL THOSE!THEY ARE NOT BLIND!

FUCKING MALAY BITCH! _|_
FUCK OFF LA!
ONE MORE TIME OF THOSE FUCKED UP PHOTOS OR ANYTHING I AM FUCKING UNHAPPY ABOUT AND THIS IS IT!
I HAVE MY FUCKING LIMITS!DON'T RESPECT ME THEN FINE!!!
I FUCKING DO NOT CARE WHO READS MY BLOG.
FUCKED UP MONTH OF DECEMBER AND 2011, HURRY UP AND LET ME FUCK OFF LA!I FUCKING NEED 2012 NOW!ASSHOLE.

2011-12-22T09:13:00.001+08:00

Hungry until Bee Hoon is gone so no photo of it.
Now busy eating my carrot cake.

No Christmas feel, so no mood to celebrate and equals to I don't want to have any Christmas celebration or get any Christmas gifts.

2011-12-21T13:46:00.001+08:00

Finished my lunch and still considering whether to eat my egg tart or not.

2011-12-21T09:30:00.001+08:00

Beabcurd for breakfast in the office!
Ok.
Beancurd is actually not enough for me.
-.-
I'm searching for food now at my desk!!!

2011-12-20T22:49:00.001+08:00

Walked a lot until my leg veins came out.
My eyelids are heavy.
Barely opening.
Lights out!

2011-12-19T19:54:00.001+08:00

I've got the feel to get these apparels below.

I know I know.

The model is pretty and I'm not.

I've to admit that I'm not slim and neither am I pretty nor beautiful.

2011-12-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

December is ending in 12 days time.

Please kill my time.

I need 2012 now rather than staying in 2011.

2011-12-13T09:47:00.001+08:00

With a bad end of last night, today's morning will be a bad one too.

I hate to say but I'm different from others.

Don't understand what's in my mind?

I won't say much either.

FUCKED UP DECEMBER!

Fucking speed up the days to end this years.

It's worst than a piece of shit.

_|_

2011-12-12T23:38:00.001+08:00

I don't want to know means stop telling me.
I FUCKING HATE ALL THESE.
_|_

Do not try to push your luck too far.
I HAVE MY LIMITS, DON'T TRY TO GO BEYOND MY LIMIT.
_|_

PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES AND THINK TWICE BEFORE WHAT YOU TOLD ME JUST NOW, IF I WERE YOU NOW, TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY TO ME.
If you never think twice of the consequences of telling me,
You do whatever you want, don't tell me.
I don't want to know anymore.
FUCKING PISSED OF DECEMBER.
FUCK YOU DECEMBER AND THE PEOPLE THAT BOILS MY MIND.
_|_ _|_ _|_
I shall work OT until 9pm.
And earn more money.

One simple question that was being asked,
'You ok with it?'
FUCKING NO!
I AM FUCKING NOT OK WITH IT.
I AM NOT BEING UNREASONABLE OR NOT UNDERSTANDING.
YOU KNOW MY CHARACTER WELL.
YOU KNOW HOW I THINK, YOU KNOW HOW I REACT.
THIS IS 1-TO-1.
NOT FUCKING 1-TO-MANY.
I CANNOT ACCEPT.
IF YOU DARE, THEN FINE.

I FINISHED RANTING.
I'M GLAD THIS IS THE FIRST BLOG I CAN RANT.
THE 2ND BLOG IS A BETTER PLACE TO RANT MY VOICE OUT.

1ST WAS THAT AND NOW IS THIS.
LIKE I HAVE A SHIT LIFE WITH ALL THE SHIT THINGS HAPPEN TO ME.

FUCKING HATE DECEMBER.
FUCK YOU DECEMBER.
I WANT 2012 TO FASTER COME!
I'M WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME IN DECEMBER 2011.
THIS IS TOTALLY FUCKING SHIT.

2011-12-12T23:25:00.001+08:00

UMBRAGE EYE.

2011-12-12T22:57:00.001+08:00

I NEED TO SLEEP NOW.

LIGHTS OUT!

I don't want to know anything.

2011-12-12T11:35:00.001+08:00

Something to keep me alive while working.
I've to thank Joanna for always keeping lively at work, someone whom I love to talk to.
Thank you for all those sweets and chocolates!

2011-12-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

Maybe I'll Be Just A Memory To You Very Soon...

I feel for all the images right now.

I just don't know how to put in words for my feelings and thoughts.

Images somehow understand what I feel...

This is the bad start to end my 2011.

Oh well, this is my life.

Nothing can be changed about it.

It has been a long time since we took photos together.

But never mind, you don't like to take photos either.

I've no photos to post about us cos the rest has been posted before.

2011-12-11T07:01:00.000+08:00

Where my Rise And Shine isn't there for me anymore.
Days where I had the best principal to hold me when I fall, teachers who were unknown to me made my days, form teachers, music teachers, PE teachers CCA teachers.
Days where we can keep little pets in class and take turn to bring them home to look after.
Days where I had many friends from all ages.
Days where my juniors are always so adorable and nice to me.
Assemblies was always interesting.
Performing so many times on stage.
Always buying nonsensical stuffs from the school bookshop.
I guess the uncle earned a lot from me.
Bring snacks to class without being caught.
Recess was always fun to me.
Buying soft drinks is always interesting to me.
Always buying guava to eat and never ending jellies.
Always get mistaken my name as Florence by Ms Williams.
The days where I can managed my time being a student, prefect, class monitoress, joined 4 CCAs at a time, joined many skipping competitions and won many medals back, got into top 10.
Good times are always short and never lasts.
I'll never get to see you again, thanks for being such an awesome primary school to me.
The most enjoyable time of my primary school life.
I lost contact with many friends, mostly shifted with different contact numbers.
The days are fun when paternal grandma brings me to school.
Everything has became a memory to me...

2011-12-11T06:59:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I just hate writing my thoughts and feeling through my blog.
Maybe topics has become into studies only.
I should write back at the other blog.
When I really want to sit down and talk, thanks for telling me there's nothing much to say.
I understand.
Sometimes it's just like being an alien trying to talk to a human.
I am the alien.

2011-12-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

There are times where it's best for me to keep quiet and have those questions to myself.

Sometimes too long without really talking to each other, really ends up with very little topics to talk about.

2011-12-09T23:28:00.001+08:00

2011-12-05T23:32:00.001+08:00

There won't be a post for this entire week.
I need to go somewhere else to ease my pain.
This is the end of me.

2011-12-05T22:57:00.001+08:00

ALL THIS IS FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY!

FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD.

MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP OK!

I AM NOT HAPPY WITH WHO I AM TODAY!

I AM A LOSER!

I AM A FAILURE!

I AM NOT AS POSITIVE AS OTHERS!

IF YOU THINK I CAN'T MAKE IT, THEN FINE OK.

I LIVE IN THIS STUPID IS TO WASTE ALL MY PARENTS MONEY AND TIME.

I AM NOT FILIAL.

I AM ALWAYS NEGATIVE.

FUCK OK!

THIS IS ME.

I AM TRYING HARD TO ACCEPT THE FUCKING FACT.

LOOK DOWN ON ME.
DESPISE ME OK.
I AM NOT AS SMART AS OTHERS OK.
I AM NOT BORN FUCKING SMART WHO DOESN'T NEED TO ATTEND LESSON TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
I AM SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO BE MOTIVATED AND NEED A LOT OF HARDWORD TO GET PAID.
I AM FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS.
When my limit has hit the highest, don't blame me for all these nasty words.
I cannot be nice when I haven't have a good fucking week.

This is the end of me.

I really had enough.

Bye.

2011-12-05T22:37:00.001+08:00

STOP SAYING.
I'M FUCKING SICK OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED.
ALL PROBLEM LIES ON ME OK?!
IT'S ALL MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
FUCK MY LIFE OK?!

2011-12-05T22:27:00.001+08:00

If you ever looked down on someone I love, YOU'RE SO GOING TO GET IT FROM ME.
Fuck you and your life!!!

2011-12-04T19:17:00.001+08:00

I don't want to do anymore things.
THANKS FOR THOSE HARSH WORDS.
THIS IS MY FUCKING LIMIT.
_|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|_

BYE.

2011-12-04T16:00:00.000+08:00

I know it's hard to even put a fake smile on my face.Hopefully looking at this videos for a while put my mind at ease for just 5 minutes.
I don't understand why.WHY?!

2011-12-03T15:58:00.001+08:00

Tell me which Aldo outlet has this now?!

I want to get it for my Chinese New Year.

Still grieving over it...

This is worst than I can imagine...

It really sucks to be like this but I really can't be helped...

Kill me please, I would feel better.

I think I should go and sleep.

Staying awake feels so terrible.

2011-12-03T12:48:00.001+08:00

Waking up on a Saturday afternoon doesn't make me feel any better.

2011-12-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

You won't feel good when you know the world is crashing down on yourself.

Sometimes you will just stone there and think of so many things.

Sometimes you just want to turn in to someone who can hear you cry and comfort you the whole day.

There are times I don't talk.

Doesn't mean everything has been fine for me.

Doesn't mean I don't show my feelings means life has been awesome for me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday has probably been the worst of my 21-years-old life for now.

Something hit my mind very hard and made the picture so clear to me.

I failed to do things that I'm always good in.

And I'm definitely disappointed in myself.

Right now, everything in my mind is in a mess.

I can't think properly, I can't figure out what I want.

It has been a torture for me, for the past 24 hours.

We all know living in Singapore is not as easy as our parents' generation.

Earning a living wasn't as easy as I can think of.

Not by going to work, please your boss, clear all your work and at the end of the month the pay is yours.

Think again, what do we have to do to get that job?

Right now, I just can't planned what's going to be my studies like or my future work like.

Because I really cannot handle this anymore.

Many people tell me not to give up, just try one more time.

By trying one more time = waste more money, waste more time.

I'm standing in my parents' shoes to feel how is it like to just sacrifice that few months pay just for my education.

And studying isn't as easy as everyone think.

I know qualification is important, have you thought the process of getting qualification is also stressful.

I just want to give up on myself...

I cannot handle all these on my own...

I cannot do all these at all...

I was just wasting everyone's money and time.

I'm so sorry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I haven't been the greatest daughter that my mummy and daddy could ever had.

Probably I should say I am a burden to them in their life all this while.

I know many times I took my allowances for granted.

I spent money like you 2 are bank printing machines.

I'm sorry...

I know now I can't earn much to return every single cent to you 2.

I just felt I've messed up my life.

I really don't know what to do now.

Looking at those numbers just stressed me even more.

Sometimes I wished I had never appeared in their lives.

Taking up their precious time, wasting their hard-earn money.

What else?

Being rude to them at times.

I really hate myself being like that.

I hate myself for being your daughter.

I never make you 2 happy before.

As for my best friend, I know I never done great stuffs in your life.

I was never there when you needed me the most.

I was only with you through phones or msn conversation.

I've never lend you my shoulders when you needed them.

I'm so sorry...

You know sometimes I wish to do something meaningful for you.

But I don't know what I can do...

I failed to be a best friend to you.

As for my boyfriend, I know you always read my blog; read it every day without fail.

These few weeks hasn't been great to me.

Either we quarrel or there's not much conversation to talk about.

What more our meet ups has been getting lesser and lesser.

I haven't been a great girlfriend and I have never been good to you at all.

Even small things also quarrel, very childish of me.

Each day our texts and calls has become lesser and lesser.

Sometimes I just wished I have never appeared in your life too.

I know you tried to console me, it's not working.

I don't know what else you can do right now, cos I don't know what I want from myself.

Sometimes I just feel anyone can replace me for you.

I don't deserve what you all had given me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am at the verge of everything.

I burst into tears, I really cannot hold my emotions.

Seeing others rejoicing now, make me feel so horrible.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL WHEN OTHERS ARE CELEBRATING AND YOU'RE THERE LIKE A SHIT?!

I just feel worst than being a shit.

I had been everyone's shit in their lives.

I don't deserve to be in their lives.

I just want to be alone and keep quiet.

I am useless.

I am stupid.

I am a failure.

I am a person who is good-for-nothing.

Would you all do me a little favour?

Please delete me from your lives.

I've caused too my problems and troubles to many people.

I know you all haven't been happy being with me.

I will really feel better leaving Mother Earth.

That's when every problem and trouble will stop for you all.

There's when I will never waste people's time and money.

This is when I want to give up on myself.

I haven't been happy being a Teresa Lam I used to be.

Right now, I just feel very lost.

When everyone can, I just can't.

I don't understand why either...

I don't understand my life, I don't understand myself, I don't know what I want now.

Don't ask me questions, I don't know how to answer them.

There's a price to pay for every mistake I had done.

2011-12-02T09:36:00.001+08:00

I FUCKING HATE THE START OF DECEMBER.
FUCKING END IT FAST.
THIS IS DAMN FUCKING BITCH!

2011-12-02T08:51:00.001+08:00

If you think so.
It's best to shut up and keep quiet.
Act like nothing has happened.
I will drown myself with more work and I'm searching for another part time job to cover my unused time.
我的脑和心都很烦。
For people to like to be a busybody keep coming into my blog, this is fucking none of your business.
SO JUST FUCK OFF!

2011-12-01T22:42:00.001+08:00

I'm a useless failure.
I don't do things right.
I always waste the time and money I have.
Now I regret like fuck.
Additional pain in the bank.
Additional wastage of my time.
Why am I like this?!

Seriously, I'm at the verge of giving up every single thing I have now.
Which include precious things and people and most of all, myself.

I FUCKING HATE MYSELF TO THE FUCKING CORE.

_|_

2011-12-01T19:47:00.001+08:00

FUCK OFF LA!!!
BUY YOUR NOTES OR WRITE THEM DOWN WHEN YOU'RE COMMENCED IN SCHOOL!
I DON'T GIVE MY NOTES TO ANYONE, SO WHAT IF YOU WERE A GIRL OR ONCE MY CLASSMATE?!
GET IT ON YOUR OWN, ALWAYS FUCKING DEPENDENT ON PEOPLE'S NOTES TO PASS.
YOU KNOW WHAT IS HARD WORK OR NOT?!
_|_

2011-12-01T10:01:00.001+08:00

Don't call or text or look up for me.
I'm sick of life.
Bye.

2011-11-30T15:31:00.001+08:00

【 A 】
她：「老公。帮我接杯水呗。」
他：「石头剪子布。谁输了谁去。」
她：「算了.. 我自己去吧..」

【 B 】
他们坐在一起看韩剧。她起身。
他：「干吗去？」
她：「去接杯水。」
他：「你坐这看吧。我去给你接。」

女人要求不高，她对男人唯一的要求就是「疼她」，
你可以什么都没有，只要你疼她，她就有足够的勇气把自己的下半辈子交给你..

【 A 】
他晚上下班。给她打电话，
他：「宝贝儿。我晚上和朋友出去吃饭。」
她：「你不是答应我陪我逛街的吗？」
他：「改天吧！」

她默默地流泪.. 为什么每次都是这样？

【 B 】
他下班的时候打电话给她:
他：「亲爱的，别人给我一张奥运会的票。巴西队啊！一会儿我去看球了啊。」
她：「哦。这样啊，好吧。」
他：「怎么不高兴了？」
她：「你忘了，上周说好今天我朋友和她男朋友请我俩吃饭啊。」

他：「哎呀，对不起亲爱的.. 我忘记了.. 那我把票给别人吧，我陪你去吃饭。」
她：「不要了，吃饭可以改天，或者你先去看，我们等你。」
他：「那不行，答应你的事情必须得做到。再说你自己跟他俩在一起像电灯泡似的，你肯定不舒服啊.. 」
她：「没事的..」

没等她说完，他很强势的告诉她，
他：「好了，听我的，你收拾一下，我一会儿去接你..」

其实女人不是不懂事，只是她需要碰上一个懂事的男人，
其实情侣之间是可以互相的..

【 A 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭了啊。」
她：「几点回家？」
他：「九点之前肯定回家。」
九点半，
她：「你怎么还不回来啊？」
他：「十点，肯定回家。」

十一点，十二点，一点，两点..
后来，她不再打电话催他..
因为她知道，对于不守承诺的男人，一切「肯定」都是「未必」..

【 B 】
他：「我晚上出去吃饭。九点之前肯定结束。然后我俩去看电影。」
她：「你能那么快就结束吗？」
他：「放心吧。我答应你了就一定能！」
快到九点的时候。他：「收拾一下吧，我马上就到你家了！」

信任，
是在一件一件小事中建立起来的..

【 A 】
她生理期，身体不舒服。顶着疼痛洗衣服，收拾屋子。
他坐在电脑前面玩网络游戏..

她干完活，躺在床上，长出了一口气。
他看了她一眼：「宝贝儿，辛苦了！」
然后转过头，继续玩他的游戏..

【 B 】
她生理期，很难受，起身准备洗衣服。
他拽住她：「你去床上躺着，我来！」
她：「你会做家务吗？你自己洗过衣服吗？」
他：「不会做可以学着做啊，以后你身体不舒服的时候，我当然得独挡一面！」

女人需要的不只是甜言蜜语，哄她几句，她也许会给你一个微笑..
但是实实在在的呵护，她会对你一辈子的感恩，
并且会回报给你一个温暖的家..

【 A 】
她给他拿了一包榛子，然后她去洗衣服。
回来的时候，榛子已经被他吃得所剩无几。

【 B 】
她拿给他一包榛子，然后自己去收拾屋子。
回来的时候，她看见电脑前面放了一堆剥好的榛子仁。

女人很感性..
她炫耀你对她的体贴，就好像炫耀克拉钻一样。
这么廉价的买卖，用一点心思就能收获无比的财富..

【 A 】
他说：「你是最好的..」
她问：「我哪好？」
他：「学历高、能力强、长得漂亮、身材又好，对我又这么好..」
她笑了..

【 B 】
他：「你是我所遇到最好的女孩儿..」
她：「我哪好？」
他：「你对身边的每个人都很友善、很无私，对人对生活总是很感恩，一个人有一颗善良的心，会让周围的人感觉到温暖，你是我见过最善良的女孩儿，伤害你的人都应该下地狱..！」

她哭了..
一个人，是因为你对他好，所以觉得你好..
一个人，是因为懂得你的好，所以想要对你好..

幸福的爱人，
首先应该是一对彼此欣赏的知己..

2011-11-30T10:47:00.001+08:00

Laptop can't be used, cos I can't login.
Now waiting for my colleague to help me.
At the same time, I'm bored with nothing to do.
Flu came to visit me.
Now I have goldfish eyes.
=(

2011-11-29T21:32:00.001+08:00

I've got another part time job!
Happy girl only!

2011-11-29T08:08:00.001+08:00

Interesting right?

2011-11-29T07:06:00.000+08:00

This is called Double Under.

This is called Double Dutch.

Call me POWER GIRL.

Cos I still can do those stuns.

HEHE!

AWESOME-NESS TO THE MAX.

I need awesome people who knows Double Dutch.

So I still can jump around.

2011-11-28T16:24:00.001+08:00

I just did 18 Double-Under.
Damn it.
I used to do about 30 plus.
Now only 18 Double-Under within 30 seconds.
My standard dropped.
I miss my partners doing Double-Dutch with me.
Those were the good old days.

2011-11-28T14:59:00.001+08:00

Cooked porridge with scallops, crabmeat and cabbage for lunch.
Stupid stomach caused me so much problems to myself.
_|_
Now busy eating my porridge and washing my clothes.
I still feel tired after more than 12 hours of sleep.
Luckily I'm having holidays, if not I'll miss a lot of lessons in school.
Why is life such a bitch to me?
Can't stand my life.
Tsk!

2011-11-27T17:49:00.001+08:00

The queue is freaking long. My feet are hurting like mad. Hope I can get my fibre broadband today. If not I'll be wasting my trip down to town. =( and! My stomach is hurting. Like there's pins and needles. ='(

2011-11-27T13:42:00.001+08:00

HOLA!
Random fact about myself: I CAN'T EAT BEEF OR MUTTON!
Allergic to them.
I've successfully cut down on my sweets.
But still fail.
-.-
My stomach is still killing me.
I've cravings for sweets like now!!!

2011-11-25T11:59:00.001+08:00

I'm getting used to this few days staying at home and being alone.

More to come until end of this year?

Finding my clothes in my messy wardrobe now.

What a day.

I should spend more time staying at home than going out.
So many things to pack.
So many things to throw.
GOD.
I think my results are going to be released soon.
FML now.

2011-11-24T15:37:00.001+08:00

Woke up at 12noon plus.

Still washing my laundry until now.

Tomorrow's going to be a fruitful day, I think?

Meet up with best friend to collect our stuffs at Suntec City, 5pm back to work and kill my time.

9:30pm GO HOME AND SLEEP!

I have practically wasted this entire week.

Who cares.

As long as I do my own things I'll be contented.

Maybe Sunday or next Tuesday I should head to the swimming pool.

Time to soak myself in the pool for hours.

Haven't been to the pool for quite some time.

Hopefully I've got the time to shop for important stuffs.

So many things to buy, yet too little money.

I need a contingency plan now!

I've got the grandma wrinkled hands now.

-.-

On a side note, damn happy with the hair straightener mummy got for me.
Another side note, I've finally received my maxi dress!

2011-11-24T00:16:00.001+08:00

SERIOUSLY MY FUCKING FAULT FOR NOT RECEIVING ANYTHING?!
LAST NIGHT ALSO THE SAME.
THESE 2 BLOODY FUCKED UP DAYS.
FUCKED UP PEOPLE!!!
_|_ _|_

2011-11-23T23:45:00.001+08:00

Thanks for adding oil into my fire.

2011-11-23T19:00:00.001+08:00

Don't talk like you know my family so well.
Don't talk like you understand grandma.
Don't talk so much when you're officially NOT my family member.
Don't talk to me, I fucking can't be bothered you reply you.
You're another fucking invisible wall.
You're one fucking bitch I hate the most in the entire universe.
I'll take revenge on my cousin's behalf.
YOU WATCH OUT, BITCH!
_|_

2011-11-23T17:01:00.001+08:00

SERIOUSLY.

I WORK FOR YOU IS NOT TO COVER UP FOR PEOPLE OK?!

I STAY NEARBY DOESN'T MEAN I'M ALWAYS AROUND TO COVER UP PEOPLE'S SCHEDULE.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY BLOODY TIMES WITHIN THIS 2 WEEKS I RECEIVED YOUR TEXT SAYING COVER UP FOR HER?!

EH!

I TELL YOU, WHEN YOU FINALISED YOUR SCHEDULE I FINALISED MY PERSONAL SCHEDULE AS WELL.

I'LL NOT COVER UP SCHEDULES FOR OTHERS.

I CAN'T STAND YOU.

LIKE SERIOUSLY.

_|_

2011-11-23T12:24:00.001+08:00

Hot weather.
Go home, eat and sleep.
Not in a good mood either.
Bye.

2011-11-23T10:50:00.001+08:00

Nothing to blog for this entire week.

Nothing special, nothing interesting to share.

I'm heading out.

2011-11-22T23:53:00.001+08:00

Panic.
Nearly dead.
Not in a mood to talk or do things.
I just want to shut up and sleep.

2011-11-22T16:18:00.001+08:00

There are many things I should learn not to care.
I hate my social media.
Especially my FaceBook and MSN.
Except for my blog where I rant my thoughts and feelings out.
One day I should stop using my FaceBook and MSN.
I should be who I am.
Cos this is my life.
Why get affected by others of what they say or what they do?
And that's their life not mine.
And yes.
I fucking hate myself and my life as I grow older.
I hate busybodies reading my blog.
Who the fuck you think you are who can control my life.
Jolly well care about yours not mine.
I'm not as nice as you all think I am.
When you step on my tail, think twice.
Before I flare up and that's the end of story.
And stop fucking go and google search for my name or my blog name.
_|_
WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE.
FUCK OFF AND GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!
_|_

2011-11-22T09:53:00.001+08:00

Killing the Internet now!!!

2011-11-22T09:39:00.001+08:00

Bad news for me.
My mobile broadband is not working in the office.
The network down here sucks.
Plus a sucky laptop can't connect to other wireless network.
-.-
Continue with my work then.

2011-11-21T11:56:00.001+08:00

RUDE.

2011-11-21T10:14:00.001+08:00

THIS IS MY LIMIT.
IF ANYONE WANTS TO SPOIL MY FUCKING MOOD TODAY, YOU'LL BE SORRY.
DON'T SAY I NEVER WARN ANYONE.
I'M IN A FUCKED UP MOOD RIGHT NOW.
I'M FUCKING BOILING IN THE OFFICE!!!
_|_

2011-11-21T09:27:00.001+08:00

Early in the morning spoil my mood for work.
You don't want to listen to what I say then that's your problem.
Don't come and complain to me.
I don't want to listen to you complaining.